Back to Normal, And a Recipe

You know your marriage is suffering from too much togetherness when you get into a screaming match (and one of you storms out of the house, taking the dog) over a FIG SQUARE. Yep -- that's what we'd come to by Friday. I can certainly relate to how Stephanie feels about having Joe underfoot while he's between situations.

But this morning M went to school for the first time in over a week and a half and only the second time in over 2 weeks. Now the pupper, kitties and I have the place to ourselves and peace reigns once again here at the parsonage. I should be cleaning the place since I haven't cleaned in a week, but for now here I sit at the computer catching up on emails, updating the Church's website, sending out this week's press release, job hunting, and doing a little bit of writing.

Nothing new to report on the job front. I have applied for some things from which it is probably too soon to expect any news. I have applied for some things for which I know I am overqualified and therefore probably won't get anywhere. We'll see.

It's interesting how many people seem honestly worried that I haven't found a job or at least gotten tons of interviews by now. M and I (and a few of our more astute friends) may be the only ones who aren't terribly anxious for me to find another job. I am looking (it is a condition of Unemployment and it is part of my nature), and if the right job came along I would accept it. I am also very aware that M is looking for a new church, and when she finds one it will necessitate moving out of commuting range for any job physically located here.

It is a dilemma, and one which could be solved if I did what M wants me to do and started weaving seriously and trying to sell my stoles. It would also be solved if I could put together a freelance writing/editing portfolio. That is actually my next big project -- organize all of my writing (which is currently spread across three computers), so that I can put together a portfolio and see about getting some freelance work.

I also need to finish that ICL application and return it.

But right now I really need to clean the house and do some laundry. Oh, and put together the exercise bike we bought over the weekend -- yay!

But here's what I threw together for lunch yesterday -- turned out pretty yummy.

Peanut Chicken Stir Fry

1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into thin slices
1 1-lb package frozen sugar snap pea stir fry (or an equivalent amount of fresh sugar snap peas and thin sliced carrots, onion and mushrooms)
1 small handful cocktail peanuts
peanut or olive oil for cooking

Sauce:
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup water (add 1/4 cup if using fresh vegetables)
2 tbls vegetable or peanut oil
2 tbls cider or red wine vinegar (or 3 tbls rice wine vinegar)
2 tsp lite soy sauce (more or less to taste)
1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (more or less to taste)
1 tsp black pepper (more or less to taste)

Put sauce ingredients in blender and mix until combined. If you are using frozen veggies, it will be a bit thick -- about the consistency of honey. If you are using fresh veggies it will be a bit runnier. Taste the sauce to make sure it is spiced to your taste.

In a wok (or sauté pan) over medium high heat, cook chicken in oil until juices run clear. Remove and keep warm. If needed, add more oil to pan. Cook vegetables (if using frozen veggies, put them in frozen) until done. Do not drain off the water which comes from the frozen veggies (it'll thin the sauce). Return chicken to the pan, add nuts and sauce and cook over medium high heat until everything is warmed through.

Serve over rice. Makes 4 servings.

Painless Process

So, yesterday I applied for unemployment. It was a relatively painless process -- you can do it over the phone now, and aside from the nearly 1/2-hour wait on hold (how many people in this state become unemployed every week?!) it was very easy. Lots of questions and it was done. No driving to an office and waiting in line. Now I wait for them to process the paperwork and for my former employer (who has promised not to fight unemployment) to complete their part of the paperwork.

Meanwhile, I am obligated now to make a minimum of 3 work search contacts every week and keep a log of such which is to be provided to them if they request it. Hmmm, from what the very nice woman I spoke to said, I make a minimum of 3 work search contacts (by their definition) a day, since they count checking job boards and the help wanted ads in the paper. I guess they can't expect some professionals who've been laid off to actually find 3 appropriate jobs to apply for in a week.

Word of the day: "interrobang". And, no, it is not an interrogation technique favored by the CIA, though that is a good guess. There is an interrobang in this post, if that helps. It's actually that nonstandard but oh-so-useful punctuation mark (?!) intended to convey the sense of both a question mark and an exclamation point. More on Wikipedia.

Another positive for this new state of my life: I can blog more regularly; of course, I can also write in general more regularly, and that can only be a good thing.

Back to work on the baby surprises for the twins. I LOVE this pattern!

"Letting You Go"

I hate euphemisms. I tend to agree with George Carlin that euphemisms usually only serve to remove us from problems so that we can ignore them from a safe distance. Take the USDA's recent decision to demote hunger (a term whose meaning is all too clear) to a mere state of "food insecurity" (where I presume you're a little apprehensive about the white sauce thickening properly). A better example of elimination by obfuscation I haven't seen in a long while.

This week, I was fired. Of course, no one actually said that. I was "let go". (Okay, *I* told some people I was fired because, you know, I don't like euphemisms).

In reality (and with a day away from there to lend perspective), I see "let go" in this case as exactly what happened. I have a definite feeling of having been let go. Let go like an animal who's been in a shelter cage for too long or a helium balloon that's been tied to a chair too heavy to lift (though I don't recommend letting helium balloons go -- they don't have feelings, but birds and other wildlife do, and balloons can be dangerous to them and the environment). Just let go -- allowed finally to run free, escaped from the shackles of a job I (let's be honest) hated and wasn't very good at.

M told me last night she heard glee in my voice for the first time in a long time. I slept like a baby last night. I got up this morning more refreshed and ready for the day than I have in at least a couple years. I think the complete and utter toxicity of my situation over the past couple of years will only become apparent as time and distance allow me to heal, but for now (mind you, it's been only a day):

• my carpal tunnel symptoms are gone
• my heartburn is gone
• I was humming for real earlier today
• despite spending the morning doing some rather aerobic housework, I had the best cardio workout I've had in a long time at the gym

Are we worried? Sure, financially, this makes things more than tight, but we know there's a lot of pork which has crept back into our spending, and we know that just having one of us home to cook and clean and do real grocery shopping will save us money. Besides, when we took the plunge and moved out here with the promise of nothing more than a part time church and no benefits, we put the finances in God's hands. The deal is that we will follow God's plan, and God is in charge of making ends meet. And that hasn't changed.

I've felt for a while that I should quit my job, but I was just too chicken to do it and lose the health insurance. Last weekend I read no fewer than 3 articles in 3 different journals about job stress and burnout and its costs to the individual, a marriage, and society. M's sermon this weekend (intended to get people thinking about their role in the Church, granted) pressed us all to look inside at what we love and what we're good at and put those gifts to work and stop just doing what we feel obligated or pressured to do.

Message received, and now it's up to me to use this time wisely and productively (aside from getting the house clean, which is my first order of business). What do I want to be when I "grow up"? How far do I think my weaving can take me? How does one break into freelance editing/proofreading/writing? Do I really want to work for someone else? Is being a housewife and part-time something-I-can-do-at-home really what I need?

Stay tuned....